Promises
by FriendLey
Summary: AU where Pepper and Tony are married pre Iron Man 1. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of its characters and lines from the movie used in this story. What is written here is for entertainment purposes only. I do not make any profits from it.**

Pepper stirs abruptly awake at the sound of the car pulling up the driveway. She rises from the armchair groggily and checks her wristwatch to see that it's 3 in the morning.

From her spot in the living room, she can see her husband walk in the front door, his shoulders hunched like he's carrying some invisible weight on his back. It's been like that for about a year now. Ever since Obadiah brought in new clients, cranked up production, pressured Tony for more ingenious, more deadly weapons, and running him ragged as a result.

Pepper calls him and he stops midway towards the workshop.

"Tony."

His head is angled slightly towards her and she can see him straining to hear her.

She walks to him, touches his arm, and says again, "Tony."

A blank and weary face looks back at her. She hardly recognizes him anymore.

Pepper frowns, bringing a hand up to his cheek. As she does so, she notices the lipstick smear on his jaw.

She knows what it means, even if she has no idea who it belongs to. She resists the urge to study the rest of his person, to see if his suit is rumpled or if other parts of his body have lipstick stains.

She wipes the smear away with her thumb and Tony shakes his head.

"Nothing happened," he says tiredly and she barely catches it.

"Something could have."

"Are you gonna leave me?" he asks her, resigned, like he's given up. She finds the sight so foreign and strange.

Pepper folds her arms across her chest and shakes her head, not as a response but more as a lack of one. She has no idea what to say. She can't summon enough energy to be angry at him.

She can only manage disappointment.

Her folded arms spread to hug herself and she thinks back as to how she and Tony had ever gotten here. They used to be happy.

…

" _Not to be rude and all but… you're in my spot."_

 _The redhead kneeling over Howard and Maria Stark's grave looked up at him._

 _Tony thought she was cute even with the tears trickling down her freckled face and the hiccups coming out of her._

 _She frowned. "What?"_

 _Tony pointed at the headstones, annoyed. "Those are my parents." Then, he pointed at her. "You're in my spot. Crying. And mourning. Literally doing the things_ I _should be doing." He failed to mention that the sight of her made him want to do something to make her happy and, well, talking to her seemed like the way to go._

 _She turned to read the headstones, then looked back at Tony. Then she cried again._

 _Maybe he should have shut up._

" _I'm sorry," she said to him, wiping her eyes with the back of her palm._

 _Tony shrugged. "It's fine. I guess you can cry over their graves seeing as I don't anymore."_

" _So stupid." The redhead looked left and right, and then finding what she was looking for, scooted over to the headstones beside the Starks'._

 _Tony looked and read the names on them. James Potts and Mary Potts. Died just a month ago._

" _Those your parents?"_

 _She nodded amidst a hiccup._

" _What happened?" he asked._

" _They died," she answered bitterly._

 _Tony shrugged again. "Fair enough." He plopped down beside her. He showed her the bottle of scotch that he had in his hand. "Wanna get drunk? More fun than crying."_

 _The woman stared at the bottle then up at him. She nodded._

…

They're both seated in the living room, Pepper with her elbows on her knees and Tony with his head in his hands.

She had sat down after he asked her if she wanted to leave him. He followed shortly after.

Pepper's the first to break the silence. "I don't think you should go to Afghanistan tomorrow."

Tony raises his head, his eyes wide, the first time it has shown any sign of emotion since he arrived.

"What? I have to go. If this is because of the other woman I—"

Pepper sighs. "This marriage is falling apart, Tony." She raises her palms up. "Even before the other woman whom you did _nothing_ with. I don't know if you've noticed but we haven't been a married couple for a year now. You're always down in the workshop. You brush me off when I schedule dates or if I want to help you work. I barely see you. We don't even sleep in the same bed! If you go to Afghanistan, we'll just be pushing our problems back until we lose sight of it and we won't get to fix any of this."

"Pep, I _have_ to go."

Pepper pushes herself off the couch with a snort, interrupting Tony. She folds her arms. "We are going through a crisis right now! You _almost_ cheated on me! Is that even registering in your brain? Anybody can do the demo, Tony! Anybody can push a button to fire a missile. But this marriage is—"

Tony jumps to his feet. "Nobody can do it like I can! Obie says I—"

"Obie!" cries Pepper, hands waving in frustration. "That man is an interloper in our marriage."

"Pep, don't be like that. He entrusted this to me is all."

Pepper's hands fall limp at her side. "And I entrusted myself to you. Do you remember that? When we both promised to put each other first before anything, before work? Do you remember when you promised me I'd be happy? I haven't been happy for a long time, Tony. _You_ haven't been happy for a long time and it all began when Obie pressured you into making bigger projects."

Tony shakes his head, refusing to listen. Pepper doesn't understand, he tells himself.

Pepper sighs. "Do you want to save this marriage?"

Tony doesn't look at her.

He doesn't answer.

…

 _Tony slowed his motorcycle at the sight of the redhead walking the street beside him._

" _Hey!"_

 _She glanced at him and then continued walking._

 _He kept at it. "Hey! You need a ride?"_

 _She didn't acknowledge him._

 _Tony finally got off his bike and ran after her._

 _He caught her by the arm and she swiftly turned around, spraying something at him._

 _Fortunately for Tony, his helmet took most of the hit._

" _What the hell!" He moved away. "It's me! The guy from the cemetery!"_

 _Through the small droplets of liquid on his face shield, Tony saw the woman drop her hand which was holding a small bottle of pepper spray and eye him suspiciously._

 _Tony took off his helmet, but not before studying the damage done to it._

" _Scotch guy!" she exclaimed._

 _Tony looked at her. "Yeah. That's me… pepper girl."_

 _The redhead frowned at him. "I'm not apologizing for that. You could've introduced yourself instead of grabbing me and giving me a heart attack."_

 _Tony's lips twitched in amusement. He held up his hand. "My name's Tony. And I'm sorry I scared you."_

 _The woman repressed a smile as she took his hand. "Virginia. Sorry I pepper sprayed you."_

 _Tony laughed. "Meh. Helmet got most of it." He cocked his head at the nearest eating establishment. "Come on, Pepper. I'll let you buy me a drink to make up for it."_

" _I think_ you _should buy_ me _a drink for what just happened. Also, don't call me Pepper."_

" _You'll get used to it."_

…

Rhodey eyes his best friend from across the table.

Not only did he arrive to the airport on time, which in itself is a troubling feat, but he's been on his best behavior. Not one naughty comment or leer at the attractive flight attendants or at Rhodey.

"What's wrong with you?" Rhodes asks him. "You're acting weird. And uncharacteristically quiet."

Tony plays with his hot towel and then downs his sake. That part, at least, is not unlike him.

"My marriage is over."

Rhodey gives him an exasperated look. "What did you do?"

"Why is it always something I di—" At Rhodey's pointed look, Tony gives up and pours himself another round of sake. "Okay. She says I'm inattentive. Absent. A workaholic." He drinks it. "She's not wrong. But you know, it's temporary. As soon as I finish all of Obie's orders, everything's gonna go back to normal."

Rhodey presses his lips together to stop himself from saying something he might regret. The thing is, he very much doubts that Tony's gonna stop after this batch. The man grew up with a father who didn't give him a second glance nor ever said he was proud of him. Then, Obadiah came in full of praise and a boatload of moral support. Of course, Tony's going to want to please the man that's like a father—a better one—to him.

"I'm sorry, man… What are you gonna do?"

"What I can do. Work. I… I'm gonna work."

…

" _Is this weird?" Tony asked, his nose scrunched up._

" _Us having a date? Or us having a date in the cemetery where we just introduced each other to our dead parents?"_

" _No," he replied, holding a block of cheese up Pepper's nose. "Is this cheese supposed to smell like this?"_

 _Pepper took a whiff then drew back, nose similarly wrinkled as Tony's. "Yeah. That's funky."_

 _Tony put the cheese back in the picnic basket just as someone said, "Well,_ I _think this is definitely weird."_

 _The couple turned to see James Rhodes standing awkwardly behind them._

" _Jim!" Pepper greeted, smiling widely. "Come join us!"_

 _Tony immediately stood up to stop his friend. "Actually he's not invited. I just asked him to bring the dessert I forgot."_

 _He held out an open palm for the package._

 _Rhodes had a teasing grin on his face as he handed the cupcake box, then pushed past Tony to go to Pepper. "Yeah, well, you ask me to be delivery boy, I get to stay."_

 _Tony narrowed his eyes and then joined them, sitting on the empty space beside Pepper' He prevented her from eating a sandwich and then proceeded to loudly kiss her._

 _Rhodes groaned taking the hint. "Okay. I'm leaving."_

 _Tony laughed while Pepper berated him._

" _Why do you always have to tease him like that?"_

" _Because! I don't want him around when we eat dessert." Tony started fiddling with the ribbons around the cupcake box._

" _Is that a euphemism for sex? Because I'm not having sex with you in front of our dead parents."_

" _No. I really mean dessert." He successfully untied the ribbons and began to open the box. "I had it specially made. You'll love it."_

 _The box is opened and he took out a cupcake. Well, one made of plastic that said 'Don't Eat Me' on the wrapper and right on top was a diamond ring._

 _Pepper looked up at Tony, mouth slightly agape, a question in her eyes._

" _So, um… Could I take you out, and uh, maybe get married?" he asked a bit nervously._

 _Pepper snorted a laugh. Of course, he would ask her to get married like he'd ask her out on a date._

" _Why me?" she asked, "there are so many other—"_

" _There's no one else," Tony replied softly. He glanced at his parents' graves. "I have no one else but you… And Rhodey," he added as an afterthought. "But I don't really swing that way, so…"_

" _We've only been dating for like two months."_

" _Well, you've made me so happy in those two months. And I haven't been that happy. Not since… the accident. And ever since I saw you crying in this very spot, I've always wanted to make_ you _happy." He abandoned the cupcake on the picnic blanket and took Pepper's hands. "Feeling like that… that doesn't happen to me. So I figured, if you're the one who makes me feel—no, not feel because feelings change—makes me_ want _to be selfless, to be better, I figured… I'd ask you to be my wife before you become the one that got away."_

 _Pepper smiled and then cupped his cheek to kiss him._

" _Is that a yes?" he said against her mouth._

 _She nodded._

…

They are ambushed.

Everyone is killed.

But not him.

He hears the voice the first time when he is waterboarded. They have a hand on the back of his head, submerging it forcefully under the water and he hears it: _Tony!_

The second time is when they manhandle him and a wire is tugged from the electromagnet on his chest. The sudden spark he feels triggers the voice in his head.

 _Tony!_

This time he recognizes it. Pepper. Pepper's voice.

His eyes fall close, barely feeling the punch to his gut.

 _Tony!_

He feels oddly comforted by it, shielding him from the pain. It makes him feel safe despite the fact that his captors are doing a number on him.

It makes him reckless.

He starts doing things wrong on purpose in order to get punished, to talk back and keep refusing the Ten Rings what they want so they can torture him and torture him and torture him.

It's all worth it because he hears her every single time.

He's determined her voice will be the last thing he hears.

…

" _Loss connected us. Heartache and sadness. We bonded over it. And I remember when I met you crying over your parents that I thought: I want to make this girl happy. Even just for a while. One of us has to be… But it didn't turn out the way I planned. Because_ you _made_ me _happy."_

 _Pepper smiled at Tony._

" _Pepper, I promise to love you and make you happy all the days of your life. Even if I'm dead, I'm gonna haunt you and send you dead roses until you're sick of me. There's no 'till death do us part' for you and me, Potts. You're stuck."_

 _The wedding guests laughed._

…

Pepper can barely feel the floor beneath her feet. She only vaguely remembers that she _has_ to hold on to the phone if only to hear what Rhodey has to say next.

"We're gonna find him, Pepper."

"I… I told him not to go," she half-stammers, half-whispers.

"What?"

"Before he left. We had an argument. I told him not to go to Afghanistan and he went and he said… He said I could leave him if it makes me any happier." She closes her eyes and tears trickle down her cheeks. She isn't any happier.

"Is he going to—is he—" she sobs and gasps in between words. 'Is he gonna leave me?' gets lost in between.

…

" _You need to stop goading congress," Pepper said over the phone._

" _But it's so fun!"_

" _Well, not for me! Tony, Obadiah made me head of PR because he knew I could somehow make you act properly and if I couldn't, at least spin it to make it appear that way." Pepper waved at her assistant to come back later. "Are you listening to me?"_

" _What? Yeah, yeah. I just, I have to finish this. Obie's presenting it to the brass tomorrow. Can't let him down."_

" _Are we still on for date night?"_

" _Yep, yep. I'll pick you up."_

 _He doesn't._

…

"Are you trying to kill yourself, Stark?" Yinsen asks as he finishes resetting Tony's shoulder. When Tony doesn't answer, he says, "You are."

Yinsen paces around the cave and finally stops.

"Stop this! If you think they're going to kill you, they won't. They need you."

Tony grimaces. "Then, I'll just try harder, won't I?"

Yinsen sighs, runs a hand over his face. "Do you have a family, Stark?"

A _Tony_ echoes faintly in the billionaire's head. The first time he's heard it while he's not being hurt.

It makes him nod even though he's not sure if Pepper still wants to be his wife. He ignores the pang of guilt; he doesn't have the right to feel guilty.

"A wife," he croaks, suddenly feeling like he can't breathe at the thought of not having Pepper for a wife, at the thought of him dying and leaving her all alone, grieving all over again, sobbing over _his_ grave. Unhappy. Just like before.

And all because he put his freaking job first.

"If they can't kill you to make weapons, Stark, they'll kill all those you love to do it."

Tony's jaw tightens.

He's not going to let that happen.

…

" _Great news!" exclaimed Tony as he burst into their bedroom. "Okay, maybe not great news for us but Obie managed to get SI in the expo in Bern! So, we'll just have to move the skiing to another date because I'm gonna need you to work your super powers for the event."_

 _Pepper put her laptop aside and frowned at Tony. "Tony, it's our anniversary trip. You're going to make us work?"_

 _Tony deflated slightly. "It's just one day, Pep. It's not… it's not gonna take the whole vacation."_

" _The idea was to get_ away _from work."_

 _Tony climbed up the bed and sat on his knees beside her. "I know, I know! But maybe we could pause that for one day. Just an exception. We haven't really made a presence in Switzerland yet. This is our way in!"_

 _Pepper sighed, mentally cursing Obadiah for putting this in Tony's head. He knew very well that they were going to be on leave. But then again, it_ was _a good PR move._

" _Alright. Anything else I need to know?"_

 _Tony suddenly looked guilty. "Yeah… um… Don't be mad. He's not gonna be a third wheel but… Obie's coming with us."_

…

"Tony! Tony!"

She's running towards him and he has her in his arms. She's sobbing in his ear.

 _Tony! Tony!_

It crumbles all of Tony's resolve and he crushes her closer to him, his body shuddering with hers. Every emotion he's tried to hold back, every feeling he's delayed for the year all comes rushing in.

It hurts. It's overwhelming him. But it's better than feeling nothing.

The sound of her sobs makes him want to throw up. He's never wanted this for her. Never wanted what happened to have happened to any of them, to him, to the soldiers who died, to Yinsen.

"I'm sorry," he gasps in her ear. "I'm sorry. I'll do better. I promise." He says it to her, says it to the Americans who died, to Yinsen.

He hopes he won't break it.

She pulls away and kisses him. Her face is wet. So is his.

"Thank you for not leaving me," he says.

She shakes her head. "You're all I have too, you know."

 **A/N: This idea wouldn't leave my head.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I know I said this story was a one-shot, but now it's not. This is for Gillian and Tabits who kept asking me for something and well, this is something.**

Pepper finds her husband lying on one of the reclining pool chairs by the poolside. It's 11 in the evening and it's his first night back home from captivity.

She doesn't blame him for wanting to stay up looking at the stars. He was in an Afghan cave for three months and probably hadn't seen a peep of the sun or a wisp of a cloud.

She makes an audible step towards him, alerting him to her presence. She doesn't know what it was like living on edge for three months, but she knows she shouldn't startle him.

He looks over his shoulder and holds out a hand, inviting her to join him. She sits on the V that his legs make and rests her back against his chest. He wraps his arms around her, taking in her smell, letting it wash over the memory of steel, sweat, and iron.

"I know I haven't been the very best husband," he begins, "but thank you for supporting me today." When he had told her during the car ride to the company that he was going to stop weapons manufacturing, she didn't try to dissuade him from it (not that she could, but she could have). She could have voiced out how it would affect existing contracts, stock numbers—she was in PR. It was her job to think about the ramifications of every decision he made—but instead, she said "Give me a minute" and started making calls to their lawyers.

At that moment, Tony loved her like he never loved anyone before.

"We're married," she replies, "Whatever boat you're in, I'm in too."

"Even if we sink?" he can't help but ask, because they haven't been acting like a married couple for a year. It was sort of comforting that she still views them as such and would still support him if this whole marriage thing fails.

Pepper looks at him and nods. "Even then." She turns back around and looks at the view.

Tony presses his lips to the back of her head.

"You know, we never talked about—"

"I don't want to talk about Afghanistan." He's not there yet. The image of Yinsen lying lifeless flashes in his mind, the memory of water filling in his lungs, the sound of Pepper screaming his name.

No. He doesn't want to relive that again.

And Pepper knows him better than anyone. She knows he doesn't want to talk about Afghanistan. "I meant about our fight…before Afghanistan."

"Oh." That. "Well, _that_ , I can talk about."

Pepper shifts, turning around to face him completely, crossing her legs so it'd fit in the space between his. Their marital spat seems to pale in comparison to his abduction, but since he was choosing to ignore all that, this was next on the list.

"I'm not making weapons anymore," Tony says resolutely. "So you can rest assured that work isn't going to come between us because I'm kind of unemployed at the moment."

"Tony—"

"And I've agreed to lay things low and let Obie handle everything, so he won't come between us too because he'll be so busy—"

Pepper puts a hand on his thigh, interrupting him, "Tony, it's not that."

Tony frowns. "I thought that was what we were fighting about." He'd been running their fight over and over in his head for three months in a cave. It was sort of the only thing he could think about—the fact that that fight had been their last words to each other. She was mad about Obie, she was mad about him working too much, he was mad at himself for being so inattentive.

"It was. But it was also more than that, Tony. You and I bear much of the blame too. We let ourselves drift apart. We let work and Obadiah come between us and that's on _us_. We can't let that happen again."

Tony agrees with a nod. "So, what do you suggest we do? Marriage counseling?"

"I don't think we're at that point yet."

Tony raises a brow. He vaguely remembers a girl putting the moves on him at a bar, marking him with her lipstick on his jaw. Pepper had assumed he had almost cheated and Tony didn't care enough to argue that technically _the_ _girl_ kissed _him_. Instead he had simply said that "nothing happened."

In the past Pepper would have throttled him for "almost cheating" and he would've busted his ass proving that he was innocent. But that didn't happen. It was like they didn't care that much anymore. Well, Pepper cared. She tried to make him stay and fix things between them but Tony… Tony thinks that if this isn't the point where they both needed marriage counseling, he doesn't know what is.

But Pepper—sweet and lovely and also a little scary sometimes who always fixed Tony's screw ups—says, "We _talk_ , Tony! We take the time to talk to each other and not just about work. No more sleeping alone or missing date nights. Whatever happens from now on, we do this together or we don't do it at all."

Tony nods. That makes sense considering this whole mess could have been avoided if they just talked to each other about what's been happening. "Talk, huh? I can do that." He holds her hands. "I'm still learning how to be a great husband. But you, when did you become so good at this wife thing?"

"I had three months to think about all the things I should have done."

"Ah."

Pepper smiles and leans in to kiss him softly on the mouth.

"Thank you," Tony murmurs against her lips.

...

Tony gets in the car and the minute he shuts the door, Pepper asks him, "So, is he in?"

She's a little bit excited and Tony is too. They're working on groundbreaking technology! Who wouldn't want James Rhodes being the test pilot?

James Rhodes apparently.

Tony shakes his head and tries not to let the disappointment show. "It's a 'no' from him."

"What?" She gapes. She looks at the entrance of the plane hangar where she imagines Rhodey to be and then turns back at Tony. "Did you tell him what we're doing? Did you use 'the pilot without a plane' line?"

"No and yes."

"Pick one."

"Yes to the second but no to the first because he shot me down before I could."

"Oh, no. I'm gonna talk to him." She moves to get out the car but Tony activates the locks. She tugs at the door handle. "Let me out."

"No." Instead, Tony starts the car. His wife was offended on his behalf and frankly it's a bit of a turn-on.

"What do you mean 'no?' He's not being your best friend and—"

"—and we don't need him." He drives out of the base. "I got you and the kids and frankly, that's all I need." The kids meaning the bots that sometimes drive him out of his mind like actual children do. Maybe he and Pepper should start talking about real kids instead of robot kids… He files the thought away. Another project for another time.

"You forgot Jarvis."

"Please don't tell him that."

...

The garage had been completely transformed. Looking at it after Dum-E and U cleaned up the mess, Pepper couldn't have guessed that Tony hit the ceiling over there when he was learning how to fly or that he blew up that glass with the flight stabilizer.

There's a picnic blanket right in the spot where Tony did the first test flight and on it is a spread of toast and dips. Dum-E, carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses perched on a tray, is parked nearby.

"What is this?" Pepper asks, turning to Tony who stands a little taller and prouder at her inquiry. He takes her hand and leads her to the picnic blanket.

"This," he gestures, "is a little work break."

They've both been working hard on the suit with Pepper being his assistant in the garage (because honestly, the robots were not as attractive and as useful) whilst handling the fallback of his still infamous press conference (how she managed to do both is still beyond him).

"And also a small, not to mention _late_ birthday party."

"Birthday…" Pepper trails off and catches Tony's eye. He's smiling at having successfully surprised her.

She didn't have a very nice birthday this year what with them fighting and Tony disappearing on the day of. Her husband gazes tenderly at her and says, "Belated happy birthday, honey."

Pepper bites the inside of her cheek before pulling Tony in a hug.

"You like it?" he asks, chuckling.

Pepper nods her head. "I'm really glad you're not dead."

"Same here." Pulling away, he nods to the spread on the ground. "Come on, I got a cheese and spinach dip in there, the whole works."

It isn't an evening at a fancy hotel or a candlelit meal. There's a crumpled piece of paper under the desk right there and the only thing separating Pepper and Tony from the grease on the garage floor is a picnic blanket. But this is something that they used to do when they dated; it was intimate and sentimental.

"This reminds me of the last time we did this. Remember, it was at a cemetery and you proposed."

"Was that the last time?" Tony asks, nose wrinkling in recollection.

"Yes! And you gave me that awful cupcake."

"You disliked the cupcake?" His jaw drops. He can't believe she'd been lying to him this whole time about the engagement cupcake.

"It was made of plastic! And I was really looking forward to dessert because the cheese was expired—"

"Uh-huh, I can't believe I married a liar." He catches the small piece of toast she threw at him. He shrugs. "It's fine. People change."

Pepper grins and reaches out to take his hand. "I really like this, though. It was a wonderful late birthday celebration."

"It's not over yet."

"Oh?"

Tony rises, very quickly grabs a small package from his desk drawer, and then kneels beside Pepper. "It's for you. A birthday gift."

It's heavy and Pepper sets it down on the blanket as she unwraps it. She tears away the wrapping paper and discovers that Tony had mounted his Mark I arc reactor on Lucite and engraved the words "Proof that Tony Stark has a heart" on the arc.

The symbolism is not lost on Pepper. Tony gave her his arc reactor, the piece of technology that stood as his literal heart now. Giving it to her is equivalent to him remaking his promise to her on their wedding day.

She looks at him and she can hear him say the words despite his mouth not moving at all. _You, Pepper Stark, have my heart. You_ are _my heart._

They never really needed to say anything to understand one another.

Pepper's lip starts to tremble and Tony's eyes widen. "Oh, no. You don't like it? Jarvis assured me you would." It says a lot about him that he was banking on advice given by a program Tony built for himself. Rhodey would've gladly… no. Rhodey's not here.

Pepper shakes her head, wiping away tears. "No, I love it! It's just… I… We don't talk about what happened when you were gone and I get it. I don't want to pressure you into talking when you're not ready, but Tony you're not the only one who went through something. I thought you were dead and I just… I need to talk to you about it."

Tony bows his head in shame before taking Pepper's hand. "You're right. I'm sorry. I've been so dismissive of my own trauma, I didn't realize that you…" It's hard to imagine what it was like for her. "I'm here now. I'm listening. You can talk to me."

...

"Double dealing?" Pepper is gripping the thumb drive so hard, Tony is a little worried she'd break it. "When I find out who's behind this, I'll—"

Tony leaves his seat and rounds the table. He places his hands on her shoulders. "Honey, relax. I won't let you go to the office if you can't keep a level head. We need proof first. I'd go myself but I need to fix the suit and—"

Pepper shakes her head. "Fix the suit. I'll handle the evidence."

...

Stay calm, Pepper tells herself as Judas enters the room. You're Tony Stark's wife and you're in his office. You have a right to be here.

Despite her words to Tony in the workshop earlier, Pepper is starting to feel a little sweaty and nervous. Her mouth feels dry and she has to clench her fingers because she is pretty sure they're visibly shaking.

Obadiah Stane is a huge man and she is a toothpick in comparison. Pepper suddenly wishes she has a gun, not that she could aim or anything. It would just make her feel safer because now that she knows what Obadiah is capable of…

Her eyes dart to the desk, looking for something that could function as a weapon. Just in case because Obadiah could snap her like a twig if he knew what she was doing.

But _only_ if he knew.

Obadiah is oblivious to Pepper's thoughts as he walks to Tony's bar and pours out a drink.

"I know what you're going through, Pepper." Pepper has to bite her tongue from talking back. "I know how lonely you feel," Obadiah continues as he turns to offer her the drink. And that was when Pepper had a brilliant idea. "Tony never really did come back from Afghanistan, did he?"

She politely declines and stands, blocking the view to the computer so as not to reveal the download in progress.

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong," she says, making sure to work in some teary-looking eyes so that she'd look convincing as she stalls. "I thought things would go back to normal but… my marriage is falling apart and I'm scared, Obie, because… because I'm pregnant and I've been keeping it a secret for months now and I'm scared that our baby is going to grow up without a father."

The look on his face almost causes Pepper to break character. He looks like he had just swallowed a stone. She can only imagine what's running through his head. Maybe he is thinking about how this pregnancy could ruin his plans. He could kill Tony but that would be moot because he has a baby on the—

Pepper feels cold and clammy all of a sudden as she realizes just how stupid a lie that was. She had planned for the pregnancy lie to blindside Stane long enough for her to leave. But now, what if he's going to kill her next because she is supposedly carrying the heir to Stark Industries?

Stupid, stupid.

"But I know you'll talk some sense into him, Obie," she continues the act nonetheless like her armpits aren't sweating like crazy. "You've always been good at getting him to listen. He looks up to you."

"Y—yes, I'll talk to him."

Pepper palms the thumb drive as she picks up her purse. "Thank you, Obadiah. I don't know what I'd do without you."

...

"It's a pity you had to involve Pepper and the baby in this."

...

It's ridiculous but also a little typical that they're bickering while he's trying not to die as he fights Obadiah and Pepper's trying not to blow them all up as she shuts down the arc reactor.

"When were you gonna tell me you're pregnant?" Pepper can hear him grunting as he strains against something. She doesn't want to know what.

"I'm not."

"You're not?"

"I turned off all the… things. What next?" She is staring at the control panel and had done what he told her to do. She turned off everything that should be off and turned on everything that should be on.

"Go to the TR1 box and push the red button. Then why did Stane—"

"I had to keep him distracted," she cuts in as she locates the said box. "I figured a little white lie would throw him off. It worked." Seeing about more than a dozen red buttons on the panel, Pepper groans. "Tony, there are a lot of red buttons."

"He could've killed you, Pepper! And our nonexistent baby!"

"Yeah, I regretted the lie as soon as I said it." She tells herself that if they survive this, she and Tony are going to sit down and talk about babies. "Which red button?"

Silence.

"Tony?"

...

In his office, Tony looks down at the cards Agent Coulson gave him as he waits for his turn at the press conference in the lobby.

They want him to keep the truth a secret, to lie about the events that occurred because the truth would scare the public.

He puts the cards face down on his lap. He happens to disagree.

"You're not gonna stick to the cards, are you?"

Tony looks up at his wife. As usual, she knows exactly what he was thinking. She's been with him every step of the way and Tony just knows she's gong to back him up on this one too.

"Lying, secrecy, that's what got me in this mess in the first place. Obie lied to me, we lied to millions of Americans about protecting them—"

"That wasn't your fault."

"People are scared, Pep, they're scared about what they don't know. And the secrets have to end somewhere. It's only going to get worse if I don't tell them the truth."

"I don't like it but you're right," Pepper says with a heavy sigh. She doesn't _have_ to like it. "When did you become so wise?"

"I've had three months to think about my failures. Now, I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making up for them."

He rises to his feet, letting the cards fall to the ground where the lies and secrets belong. Pepper helps him with his suit and then, fixing the collar, she says, "Go get 'em, Iron Man."

He eyes her. "I thought you said I wasn't Iron Man?"

She smiles and kisses him.

...

In bold letters, splashed across the front pages of every newspaper are the words **TONY STARK: "I AM IRON MAN."**

 _..._

 _6 months later… More or less… Tony had stopped counting._

 _..._

Why did therapists always have those couches that were wide enough for clients to sleep in? If not for the sole reason that clients could bunk over, Tony thinks. Maybe just in case Pepper puts him in the doghouse, he could—

"Tony?"

Tony snaps to attention, trying to keep his eyes trained on the therapist in front of him and not on the distracting goldfish in the fish tank over her shoulder. "Yes, doc?"

The SHIELD issued therapist Dr. Perez gives him a faint knowing smile and Tony has a feeling that she can see right through him, like she knows exactly what he was thinking about.

He holds his breath.

"Pepper just told me her reasons for being here. But I wondered if you could tell me why _you_ agreed to come."

Tony exhales. He once wondered what it was that would send him and Pepper to see a therapist. Well... "It's a long story."

Dr. Perez cocks her head, her smile screaming 'try me.'

And Tony does.

 **A/N: There's a third chapter coming up and maybe an epilogue. Stay tuned! BTW: Tony's reasons for choosing to reveal his identity is based on his thought process in the Iron Man novelization. I don't own any of that.**


	3. Chapter 3

_A week after the identity reveal, Pepper made the news._

 _The headline for the day read, **"PEPPER STARK NEW CEO OF STARK INDUSTRIES."**_

 _…_

 _Soft lights flooded the master bedroom and Jarvis' voice wakes up the inhabitants. "Sir, it is the Pentagon on line 1 for you."_

 _Tony shook off the sleep, slowly swinging his legs off the bed and planting his feet on the floor. His wife groaned beside him and shut her eyes tighter to keep out the lights._

 _Tony looked back and rubbed her arm. "I'm sorry."_

 _"No," she waved him away, eyes still shut. "Go save the world. Be a Powerpuff Girl." Being Iron Man_ did _feel a lot like being a Powerpuff Girl wherein he got called in at odd hours in the morning by the 'mayor' aka Pentagon and he had to go and save the world. Except the Powerpuff Girls never had Pepper Stark for a wife._

 _"Will do." He gave her one last longing look before heading to the bathroom to change out of his clothes._

 _Casting away his muscle tee, he spotted a certain discoloration on the reflection of his chest on the mirror. He squinted, blinked a couple of times to make certain that he wasn't still asleep and seeing things, and then looked down at his arc reactor._

 _Nope. He wasn't dreaming. There was a purple rash on his chest; they looked like tiny veins and they branched out of where the arc reactor began and his skin ended._

 _He put on a shirt._

 _"Jarvis, scan my chest once I'm in the suit. I want a full report on this rash as soon as I get back from the mission."_

 _"Yes, sir."_

 _…_

 _"Talk to me, J."_

 _"It appears that the device designed to keep you alive is also killing you," Jarvis sounded apologetic... Well, as apologetic as User Interfaces could sound. "The palladium leaking out of the arc reactor is poisoning your blood stream, sir. It is incredibly fatal if left untreated."_

 _Tony squared his jaw. "Begin a simulation for other elements that can replace palladium." As an afterthought, he added, "And let's keep this between the two of us for now, alright?"_

 _"As you wish, Sir."_

 _…_

 _Tony stared at the words blinking at him from the heads-up-display._

Simulation unsuccessful.

 _That was the nth element they've tried. He was running out of elements. He was running out of time._

 _His eyes fell on the framed picture of him and Pepper on his work table. It was taken during the Firefighters' Family Fund. She was wearing that backless dress he liked so much and they both looked like they weren't about to die at the hands of Obadiah Stane one day later._

 _Tony looked away._

 _…_

 _Rhodey slid into the booth opposite Tony. "Did you get me some of that?" They were in Burger King and Tony was eating his cheeseburger. There were three other burgers on his tray and two cups of soda._

 _"No," Tony said with a mouth full of burger. "Go order your own." Rhodey rolled his eyes and Tony grinned, pushing the tray at Rhodey. "I'm kidding. Yeah. I did. I got you a Whopper."_

 _"Thanks. So, what's up?" Rhodey picked up the burger and began to unwrap it. He ate as Tony instructed him, "Take a look at what's under the table."_

 _Rhodey put his burger down, ducked and resurfaced, eyes wide. "No way! You're giving them the suit?" Congress had been threatening Tony into handing over the suit for months and so far Tony's been able to hold them off. If his math was right—and come on, he's Tony Stark—they're going to serve him a subpoena in a few weeks give or take._

 _"No," Tony said simply, "I'm giving_ you _the suit. There's a difference."_

 _"What? No. Tony, this is a conflict of interest. I can't have the suit and not give up the suit."_

 _Rhodey and his loyalty to the military, Tony thought. Tony crumpled the wrapper on his burger and started on his second one. "Then you'll just have to keep it a secret then. I don't know, pretend you're Iron Man when you're in the suit. I could use a day off."_

 _Rhodey's jaw slackened. "Pretend I'm—If I'm gonna be in the suit, I want my own name."_

 _"Now, see I'm confused," Tony eyed him teasingly. "I thought you said can't be in the suit?"_

 _"I never said that." Rhodey sighed. He looked longingly at the silver briefcase under the table. He can't believe Tony managed to fit the suit in there. He turned back to his best friend, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Yesterday, I just got a phone call that you emailed my bosses a very… colorful letter. And now, this? What gives?"_

 _Tony took a deep breath. Here it goes. "I'm dying." He took a bite off his burger._

 _Rhodey looked at him, deadpan. "Ha ha. Very funny. No, really, what's going on?"_

 _Tony blinked. He swallowed. "I just told you. I'm dying. I got like months to live and I'll be damned if I see the suit fall in the hands of congress. You're the only one I trust to continue the work when I'm gone."_

 _Rhodey leaned back against his seat. "Holy shit. You're not kidding."_

 _"Wish I was," Tony said after sipping on his soda._

 _Rhodey seemed to have gotten over the initial shock and now leaned forward, eager to know more. "Is it cancer—is it—what is it?"_

 _"Palladium poisoning from the arc reactor." Tony tapped his chest. "I can't find a replacement element and the technology to fix my heart doesn't exist yet. So. I'm at a dead end. Literally."_

 _Rhodey somberly pushed his own burger aside. "See, now I lost my appetite and I haven't even had lunch." He shook his head and looked at Tony, not with pity which Tony was grateful for, but with concern which was only sort of worse. "How you doing?"_

 _Tony shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. "I'm fine. I'm taking care of loose ends, hence giving_ you _the suit."_

 _"Yeah, I hear you. Me and not the military. But jeez, Tones, how are you acting like nothing's wrong right now?" He put his elbows on the table and his head in his hands._

 _"I've had my time to process it."_

 _Rhodey scoffed. "Process it—you sound like a computer. You didn't process shit. I know what's going on. You don't want to face the fact that you're dying so you're deflecting."_

 _"Sounds about right." Aside from Pepper, Rhodey was the only other person who knew Tony. And because Rhodey knew what it was like being in this kind of business, he also knew that there wasn't anything he could do to change Tony's perspective on things._

 _"Does Pepper know?"_

 _"No."_

 _"Tony!"_

 _"I know. I'm just figuring out how to say it. I mean, she already thought I was dead once and she spent her nights throwing up and crying in intervals. She was a mess, Rhodes. Can you imagine what it'd to do her if she knew I was_ actually _dying?"_

 _"That doesn't matter. She's your wife! She's put up with you when you were alive, she's going to be strong for this too, Tony."_

 _Tony stared out the window as Rhodey said, "Don't let this be the one thing you regret."_

 _…_

 _"Hey! I've got big news!" Pepper said, tossing her work bag on the kitchen island. She strolled over to Tony who was drinking some healthy juice shake. She shook her head when he offered her some and kissed him in greeting instead._

 _"Me too!" Tony said grimly when she pulled away. "But it's sort of bad news. You go first." He continued drinking to calm himself._

 _"Oh, no. Let's have your news first that way my good news can sort of offset it."_

 _Tony's tongue felt dry all of a sudden and he couldn't help but imagine Pepper kneeling over his grave, crying, looking exactly like how she did when they first met. Except it was a thousand times worse because then every person she's ever loved is dead. His heart beat faster at the thought._

 _A hand on his arm brought him back to the present. He's in their kitchen, he reminds himself, not in the cemetery._

 _"I think you need to sit down for this."_

 _Pepper frowned. "It's_ that _bad?"_

 _"Worse."_

 _…_

 _"Mrs. Stark?"_

 _Pepper quickly ducked her head, wiping her tears away, but it was too late because Natalie Rushman had seen and wasn't this awkward._

 _Pepper had been crying a lot lately, but only when Tony wasn't around—which meant she spent most of her time crying at work._

 _"Yes, Natalie?" Pepper said, voice a little tight and damn it—there was no use trying to hide this when she'd been caught. She abandoned trying to appear fine and just started dabbing her eyes with a tissue Natalie handed her._

 _"Are you okay?"_

 _"No," Pepper admitted, slightly annoyed because she was crying! Of course, she wasn't okay. "But that's neither here nor there. What do you need?"_

 _"I just wanted to give you Mr. Stark's new will."_

 _At the mention of his will, Pepper couldn't help it and burst into tears again, hiding her face behind her hands._

 _Natalie seemed to be thinking about what to do before she placed the will on the table and rubbed Pepper's back a little hesitantly._

 _"Mr. Stark isn't going to die."_

 _Pepper faltered and looked up at her. "What?" Pepper never said anything about Tony dying. How could she have known?_

 _"He only made the new will because he's Iron Man and it's the responsible thing to do. But he's not dying." Oh. Natalie thought Pepper was crying because she was scared her husband would die. Well, wasn't she living in a bubble Pepper would like to be in. The_ possibility _of Tony dying was better than the fact that he was_ actually _slowly dying._

 _"Yes, of course. I'm just a little worried," Pepper sniffled. "If you don't mind me asking, what would you do if someone you cared about was going to… has such a dangerous job that he's always in the line of fire?"_

 _Natalie cocked her head, seriously considering it. "I'd trust them to come home alive." She drew her hand back to her side. "You're a strong woman, Mrs. Stark. And I know Mr. Stark is Iron Man and that he saves people, but maybe you could remind him to take a step back? Heroes need saving too."_

 _Pepper forced a small smile. "Thank you, Natalie."_

 _Natalie nodded and silently left the office, leaving Pepper to think about what she said. Save Tony Stark? Pepper thought. But how?_

 _…_

 _They haven't went to bed mad at each other in a long time. Except Tony wasn't really mad; Pepper was though._

 _Tony was refusing to slow down and rest (his blood toxicity goes up by about 1% every two days and he barely bats an eye) and instead had been making plans so that the people he cared about would be "taken care of."_

 _Pepper didn't need to be taken care of. And frankly, she was done crying and dancing on egg shells around him. The fact that he was so blasé about it all pissed her off; he emailed her a list of men she could marry once she's moved on for crying out loud!_

 _She told him so that night._

 _Tony turned his back to her and pulled the covers around him like the sheet would stop his wife from caring. "Just drop it, please."_

 _Pepper fumed. She pulled off the covers causing Tony to sit up, forced to look at her. "No, I won't! You're making all these plans, giving Rhodey your suit, the Expo, making me CEO—"_

 _He raised a finger at her. "Making you CEO had nothing to do with me dying. I didn't even know it at the time. You're the right person for the job and—"_

 _"You emailed me a list of approved second husbands!" She hit Tony on the arm. Tony yelped. "You're dying and you're taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of except yourself!"_

 _"Pepper, I've got Jarvis looking for a cure. He'll tell me if he finds one and when he does, I'll take care of myself, you can count on that."_

 _"That's not what I'm talking about." She sat on bended knees and said, "You're treating this like it's just some kind of project with a deadline!" Tony scoffed but didn't say anything. "Do you even care that you're dying? Because I honestly can't tell. It's like you've become your suit. Nothing fazes you."_

 _"Of course, I care!" Tony didn't say it but he was downright terrified because he was Iron Man; he built a suit of armor around himself and for what? What was the use of surviving Afghanistan only for him to die months later? He was supposed to do more. He still_ wanted _to do more. He wasn't done yet! "I just don't want to talk about something that I can't change because that's a waste of time which I'm running out of."_

 _"But it's not healthy! You're not processing this!"_

 _"What's to process? I'm gonna die if I don't find a cure. It's as simple as that. I'm living on borrowed time already, Pep. I was supposed to die in the cave but I didn't. If this is how I'm gonna go, I'm want to make sure you'll be okay." He had cupped her cheek and kissed her on the forehead when he said it, ignoring the faint cry of_ Tony _that rang in his head. This wasn't Afghanistan, he reminded himself._

 _Pepper sighed heavily, grasping the hand on her face and meeting his eyes. If he refused to acknowledge his condition and actually talk about it like a normal person, then she was going to speak in a language he_ did _understand._

 _"Then go through your list."_

 _"My what?"_

 _"Your bucket list. I know you have one. You keep it in between Dum-E's wheels." Pepper could see the cogs in his brain working again at the mention of his list. "If you're going to keep on insisting on taking care of us, then I guess that leaves_ me _to take care of_ you _. And I'm gonna help you check off every single item on that list."_

 _With an impassioned "I love you," Tony kissed her._

 _…_

 _Venice was on his bucket list._

 _So was Monaco._

 _Venice was amazing._

 _Monaco…not so much._

 _"'Drive in the Monaco Grand Prix,'" he told Pepper as he stared longingly out on the race track like it held all his answers. "That's on my bucket list."_

 _Pepper frowned, not liking where this was going. Somehow, the fewer time her husband had left, the more unpredictable and reckless he became. Refusing to talk about his impermanence had this result, it turned out._

 _"No, it's not," and the tone of voice she used implied that it wasn't going to be if she had a say in it._

 _But Tony either didn't catch it or didn't care because he said, "It_ is _now," and started walking out to the track._

 _…_

 _"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" Pepper shrieked and Tony swore he saw a vein pop._

 _"I WAS ATTACKED!" He yelled back. "GETTING ATTACKED WAS NOT ON MY BUCKET LIST!"_

 ** _…_**

 _"Hey! You canceled the party?" Pepper asked, slipping into their bedroom._

 _From his spot sitting on their bed, Tony tiredly looked at her because his whole body hurt to move. He didn't know if that was thanks to Vanko or from the palladium poisoning, but either way, he was pretty sure his body was shutting down faster than he can replace the palladium core. "You were right. It was ill-timed. I had Natalie send everybody home."_

 _"If this was the last birthday party you were going to have, what would you do?" he had asked her._

 _"I would do whatever I wanted to do, with whomever I wanted to do it with," she replied and Tony didn't think about his bucket list. He had thought of only one thing… No, not a thing. A name._

 _Pepper._

 _It was sort of a wake-up call from the idiot he's been being._

 _"Well,_ I'm _still here," Pepper said, climbing up beside him._

 _"You're so good to me," Tony whispered, almost wincing at the pain in his chest. But he was so used to it now that sometimes, he no longer felt it… sometimes. "I'm sorry about Monaco, almost getting you killed—God." He ran his fingers over the small cuts on her arm that came from the shards of glass of his car window. That was his fault. He was careless and cocky and Vanko went and wrecked his car, almost killing his wife and his chauffer._

 _"Don't." Pepper shook her head. For a moment, she understood why he didn't want to talk about the fact he was dying. It was just so sad and depressing and neither of them wanted that. She was so sick of it. She forced herself to sound happy and said, "Let's not talk about that, okay? It's your birthday!"_

 _"It's my_ last _birthday," Tony reminded her much to her annoyance, "and you know what I want to do?"_

 _She lovingly brushed his hair out of his face. "What?"_

 _"Rest," he said simply, echoing her words from before. "I want to rest, Pep. Stay with me?"_

 _Tears prickled at her eyes but Pepper refused to acknowledge them. She smiled because if Tony was going to die soon, she didn't want his last memories of her to be of her crying._

 _She nodded and then nestled against him as they lay on their backs. She spooned him, entwining their fingers together on his side, and closed her eyes._

 _…_

 _Pepper woke to Jarvis' loud alarm, notifying her that an ambulance was on its way and she should begin to administer CPR to Mr. Stark._

 _"What?"_

 _"Mr. Stark is in critical condition. His heart is currently failing." Whatever Jarvis said after that, Pepper no longer heard._

 _The word_ failing _kept repeating in her head and suddenly she couldn't remember what it was Jarvis instructed her to do._

 _She moved to her husband's side and started to shake him. "Tony. Tony wake up." He didn't respond. "Tony!" She turned him over to his back and the pale look on his face made all the color drain on her own. She pressed a hand over his chest but felt only the hard surface of the arc reactor and not a reassuring heartbeat. She pressed her ear on his chest, instead, and could hear thumping sounds… soft and faltering. "Oh, God. Jarvis, what do I do?! Jarvis!"_

 _"Mrs. Stark?"_

 _Pepper looked up to see Natalie, still wearing her dress from the night before. It must not be morning yet._

 _Seeing Pepper looking white as a sheet, Natalie entered the room quickly, eyes landing on Tony's body. Something about her suddenly seemed different to Pepper; she stood taller, looked fiercer, and her facial expressions became strangely unreadable._

 _But that didn't matter at the moment. "Natalie! He's having trouble breathing. I don't—I should—"_

 _"The ambulance is on its way," repeated Jarvis._

 _Before Pepper could say anything, Natalie ran out the room while instructing Jarvis to cancel the ambulance._

 _"Are you insane?" Pepper called back. She looked down at her palm on Tony's chest and realized could no longer feel it rising as he breathed. Tears started to spill out of her eyes. "He's not breathing!" She remembered that she should probably do CPR now but before she could, Natalie came back with a syringe in her hand._

 _"Move!" She barked at Pepper. "I hope this works." She ripped Tony's shirt open and Pepper gaped at the network of blue veins that branched out from the arc reactor going all the way up his neck. She only ever saw it once when Tony first told her of palladium poisoning and the veins were only about two inches wide around the diameter of the arc. He's refused to show it to her after that, always showering with the door locked and never appearing naked in front of her. She should've known it was because it had gotten worse._

 _She forced herself to look away and at Natalie. "What is that? What are you—"_

 _Natalie plunged the syringe right in Tony's chest and Pepper felt the air leave her body. Whatever that was Natalie put in her husband's body it was either going to kill him or save him._

 _Natalie pulled it out._

 _They waited._

 _Nobody said a word, nobody dared to even breathe._

 _Tony gasped awake, chest heaving up and down. His eyes darted from Pepper to Natalie before asking the latter, "Please tell me you didn't kiss me!"_

 _…_

 _Phil Coulson smiled. "I hope you enjoy your evening's entertainment." He nodded his head at Pepper who nodded back._

 _The agent turned on his heels, leaving Pepper and Tony alone in the living room._

 _"I suppose you're gonna want to go to work?" Tony asked, dragging the chest of SHIELD files across the room._

 _Pepper frowned. Work? He just died and he thought she'd want to go to work?_

 _"No," she said, shaking her head as she crossed her arms and stared incredulously at him. "You died, Tony! Right in front me." Tony stopped dragging the chest and faced her. "I was only dead for about five seconds."_

 _"12 seconds," Pepper growled. "You weren't breathing! For all your planning, you and I never talked about what would happen if you died in my arms! You were pale and your chest was purple and I didn't know what to do! Natalie had to go and turn all super spy and stab a needle into you! And I didn't even know what was in it!" She was shouting now and Tony had to look away because he hated it when she shouted and it was his fault. "And you're not even going to address that? You want me to act like nothing happened? I can't bury all my feelings with work, Tony. I'm not like you! My husband died in front of me! Do you know what that's like, to feel someone else's life leave them?"_

 _"Yes!" Tony cried, head whipping back to face her. "Because Yinsen died in front of me! I saw the light leave his eyes as he lay on sacks of wheat and told me not to waste my life. And I'm on my third life here. You think I don't think about the people I'm leaving behind before I go to bed? That I don't see your crestfallen face when I close my eyes? I care, Pep, it's just that I want to be able to work on this cure my dad may or may not have left me so that I can see you laugh again, to reach my next birthday, to_ maybe _have children with you." He licked his lips and paused for breath. He was somewhat calmer when he spoke again, "I'm sorry if I don't have the time to talk about how I feel over a cup of iced tea."_

 _Pepper uncrossed her arms, shoulders hunching. She was silent for a moment before asking in a voice so soft, Tony almost didn't hear, "Who's Yinsen?" She had a feeling he was talking about someone he met in Afghanistan but he never spoke to her about it for her to know for sure._

 _Tony shook his head. "Just some guy."_

 _Pepper sighed, her body weary and tense. "I'm sorry… You're right. We don't have time for a sob fest." She took a deep breath. "I'll be fine. Let's table this conversation. You have homework. Very important homework." Tony smirked at her calling his search for a cure homework, "But as soon as you're better, we are talking, do you hear me?"_

 _Tony smiled slightly. "Yes, ma'am."_

 _"God, we need therapy," Pepper groaned, bringing a hand to her temple because she was starting to get a headache._

 _Tony couldn't help but chuckle. "We do," he agreed. He abandoned the case momentarily and went over to his wife. He carded his fingers through her hair and good her a good hard kiss much to her surprise. "For luck," he said to her._

 _…_

"So, here I am," Tony shrugs to Dr. Perez. "She's right. I don't like talking about feelings and I always keep them bottled up. I can't help it. They're a distraction and they make you inefficient. Especially when you're dying and inefficiency was the last thing I needed at the time."

Dr. Perez nods at him, listening but not wearing any expressions Tony can read. She's strangely like Natalie—Natasha—in that way. Must be something about being SHIELD agents. "So, are you ready to talk about it now? Because nobody here is forcing you to do anything. Even Pepper."

Tony glances at Pepper who nods. "Tony, I only wanted you to talk about how you felt because I thought it would make you feel better about dying, sort of making peace with everything." She took his hand. "You kept trying to take care of us and the company but you let yourself waste away, burying yourself in work. Not once did you think about the person that mattered—you!" She lowers her head as she said, "I just wanted you to acknowledge that you're going through something and to start taking care of yourself. That's why I'm here because the last time I forced you to talk, I almost lost you. So, I wanted to ask Dr. Perez about how I can help you heal in a way that doesn't feel like I'm backing you into a corner."

"So, I don't need to talk about my feelings?" Both women nod. "Oh, thank God, because it was starting to get sappy." Pepper rolls her eyes at him. "I'm kidding. I get it. I was a little bit self-destructive. But I think I handled that alright. I mean, it could've been worse."

"How could it have been worse?"

"I don't know. I could've gotten drunk on my birthday and shot out wine bottles. I could totally see that happening."

Pepper laughs and it makes Tony smile. He hasn't seen her laugh in a long time.

"If it's any consolation," Dr. Perez cuts in, "I think the two of you talk the right amount."

Both Pepper and Tony send her confused looks.

Dr. Perez explains, "I know it doesn't seem like it, but the two of you talk in… uncommon ways. Take the bucket list as an example. That was some form of communication, wasn't it? Pepper wanted you to start thinking about yourself and you did."

Tony sends Pepper a surprised look. "That was part of your evil plan?"

Pepper nods but cringes at a memory. "Well, it backfired in Monaco, didn't it?"

"Yeah, I shouldn't have driven that car."

The therapist goes on, "The issue doesn't lie in the fact that you don't talk about your traumas because you both do. It just doesn't work out when you rush it before either of you are ready. I get it. Pepper, you're ready to talk about it, but Tony isn't and sometimes, you just have to wait for the both of you to be ready at the same time."

Pepper nods, sending Tony an apologetic look.

"Now, I want you two to spend some time _not_ talking about work or Iron Man. Spend some time together, go on a date, do something new or play a sport. Loss connected the two of you when you first met, but it doesn't have to be the thing that keeps you together. Fear of losing each other doesn't make the very best relationships."

"So," Tony squeezes Pepper's hand, smiling shyly. "Are you free tomorrow? I was thinking we could go have a picnic. Properly this time."

Pepper laughs again. "I'd like that."

…

They have a picnic in Tony's private beach. Dum-E isn't there holding wine, there isn't grease underneath the picnic blanket. Instead, there's sand on their food and salt on their skin, but it's _great._

"I never told you this, but I used to have a dog named Boy."

Pepper gives Tony a disbelieving look. "Boy?"

"Yeah. That way I could say 'Good boy.'"

Pepper laughs at him. "Okay, we are _not_ having kids if that's how you're gonna name them."

"Come on! I wouldn't name them Boy or Girl. What's wrong with you? I'd name them some unisex name like Morgan. Morgan Stark. Sounds nice, right?"

This is the first time they've talked about kids since the mishap with Obadiah and the fact that they were laughing about it sounded promising.

Pepper makes a noncommittal hum but says, "You know, a baby's permanent, right?"

"Is it, really? I mean, we all die in the end. And also, they don't stay a baby forever."

Pepper hits him and Tony relents. "I mean it, Tony. The Stark Expo was your baby too and look at what happened. What I mean to say is, if your reasons for wanting a baby is so that it can be your legacy, then we shouldn't have one because putting that much pressure on a baby isn't—"

"—healthy?" Tony supplies.

Pepper grins because of course he'd know what word she'd use. It wasn't like she hadn't been using it a lot lately.

"Yeah. Don't worry." He sniffs which is something he only ever does to appear like he didn't care. Which tells Pepper that he does care. "My dad put all that weight on my shoulders and I'm not gonna do the same to our child." He cleared his throat and from out of the blue, said, "Yinsen saved my life."

Pepper straightens, startled at the sudden turn in the conversation. She waits with bated breath, wondering if that was a slip up or he'd continue talking about the man she asked him about.

Eventually, Tony goes on, "He was another captive the Ten Rings had in Afghanistan. He did the surgery on my heart and wired me up to a car battery so that the shrapnel wouldn't kill me. He sacrificed his life so I could get out of that cave and before he died he told me not to waste my life." He places his hand on top of hers and is serious when he says, "Pepper, I don't want a baby because I want it to be my legacy. I want a baby because I'm alive and I love you. And this baby won't be something that came out of our traumatic experience, it isn't something my dad thrusted upon me. It's something the two of us are gonna make together. Something just _ours._ "

Pepper almost wants to cry tears of joy because _this_ right here is progress. "I love you too. That's why I married you, Tony. Not because life dealt us blows and left us alone, although that played a part. I love you because you give me plastic cupcakes and let me cry on your parents' graves that one time."

Tony holds up his phone to her mouth. "Can you say that again so I can record it and send Perez our homework?"

She laughs and he puts his phone back down.

"So, what do you say?"

"Yes to Morgan Stark, no to Boy or Girl."

Tony victoriously grins and gives her a kiss. When he pulls away, he takes something out of their picnic basket.

Pepper gasps. "A real cupcake!"

"I did good, huh? Best date you ever had?"

"It's perfect."

...

 **A/N: So I've decided and there won't be an epilogue. This is the last chapter and thanks for reading!**


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